This is the continuation of the most bad ass column that I’ve wrote. Like we all know, Schwarzenegger is back in action. After making California as the safest zone in the world, Schwarzenegger went out with a big BANG from his political career. And now, knowing he’s back making movies, and ready to delivered us the new chapter of big bad catchphrases, we know that the world isnt going to end because of that mayan apocalypse prediction. because Schwarzenegger will save us!
“Relax, You’ll Live Longer”, from Total Recall
So, after ignoring some douche in Mars Checkpoint using a transvestite technology and witnessing the most convincing triple fake boobs ever, Schwarzenegger running to the next floor, ready to unleash his big bang to the love of his dream. And then, some random mutant with a face like chicken shit touch his shoulder trying to stop and intimidate him. After a quick glance and realizing that this mutant isn’t worth the kills, Schwarzenegger says “Relax, You’ll live Longer”, to him. that is the most subtle threat that I’ve heard in a movie, for like, EVER. That thick Austrian Accent is really sounded like a death threat that comes from the angel of death itself! Just Look at the video for god sake!
“Hey Killian. Here’s Sub-Zero. Now Plain Zero”, from The Running Man
Well know, the entire premise of The Running Man is a Parody. You don’t hunt Schwarzenegger. Schwarzenegger is hunting you. Look at what happen to that pussy face in Predator who spend almost 40 minutes trying to getting up close and personal with Schwarzenegger. The Running Man make matters worse. They put wrong conviction to Arnold Character. Its like putting some Jack Daniels into the already burning girls tampon. So in the movie, after participating in the Running Man contest, Schwarzenegger is hunted by the first barbarian stalker, codename Sub Zero. After spending 5 minutes running away trying to be a pacifier, Suddenly, Schwarzenegger stop and think. “Wait a minute. Why in the blue hell I’m running from that fat ass asshole. I’m Arnold Fucking Schwarzenegger!”. So, he stop and killed that dick face. After that, he smile to the camera, and saying’ “hey Killian. Here’s Sub-Zero. Now Plain Zero!”. What a line….
“What killed the dinosaurs? The Ice Age!”, from Batman and Robin
Again? Really? Yes, Batman and Robin definitely is the best Batman Movie ever. Now, believe it or not, this one liner is truly a godlike prophecy. Up Until 2004, there’s wasn’t really any theory existed about ice age killed put Dinosaurs in a holocaust era. Batman and Robin comes out in 1997. Amazing.
“Money doesn’t make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million”, from his real world persona
“How many times do you get away with this – to take a woman, grab her upside down and bury her face in a toilet bowl? The thing is you can do it, because, in the end, I didn’t do it to a woman – she’s a machine. We could get away with it without being crucified by who knows what group”, From his interview about his movie fight with a women terminator in Terminator 3
“Speaking of acting, one of my movies was called True Lies (1994). It’s what the Democrats should have called their convention”, from his real world persona
“I didn’t think about money. I thought about the fame, about just being the greatest. I was dreaming about being some dictator of a country or some savior like Jesus”, from his real world persona