13 Assassins, THE REVIEW

For anyone who didn’t familiar with Takashi Miike, let me summarized his directing career in one word : BIZZARE . This guy is the Japanese equivalent of Tim Burton, if TIM BURTON like to show a women slowly cut his boyfriend feet with high-tensile-strength silk, a sex scene between a daughter and her father, and the little fluffy part off the end of someone’s tongue in a movie. No, no, no, he’s not Tim Burton look a like. I only Kidding. Takashi Miike is part David Lynch, Part  Ruggero Deodato, and Part Hiroya Oku(The author of brutal manga, GANTZ). 13 ASSASSINS is his latest movie that I saw.

Let me sum it up real fast. I’m not gonna laying spoilers. I love opening harakiri scene, it felt like a warning that you entered Miike film. Off course the overall scene is dumb nut because of no show all the guts that spilled, kinda like a false alarm. The 5 minutes speeches after that boring as hell. The 15 minutes after those boring pretend to be Kagemusha scene is what I called one of the greatest way to introduce a major villain character and plot. With all the cold hearted, disinterested disturbing cruelty this is the main reason why I invest my 2 hours. THE evil lord is really EVIL, not just some random bad guy tossing around because he’s fucking the wrong girl. After that, the first half of the movie is the typical assembling a group of tough SOB to avenging justice with all the short introduction for every character. Now I understand why Kurosawa is choosing 7 rather than 47. 7 is the perfect mixture to balancing all the character side quest, trait and motive. 13 is already too many. Only some of the 13 that get a nice character advancement. The last 40 minutes scene is when you combining the moronic brainless violence of MTV generation Devil May Cry Dynasty Warrior series with a lot of real blood. The bloodbath battle scene.

One of the thing that I like in Takeshi Miike style is he never afraid to just go for it, but this time he’s growing soft. Its sword battle. This is the uphill brutalistic that supposed to show us arms, legs, heads, finger,  ears, eyes, flying around across the silver screen. Blood, blood and blood isn’t having an impact and real anymore. Two or three lame decapitations, not really any severed limbs.

I hate all the CGI Scene. They look awful and cheap. Especially that dull buffalo scene.

*Spoilers* I love the little twist that  planted about the origins of KIGA Koyata, the mountain guy. Only people with great knowledge will realize the ending where he shows up without any harm at all(the guy in the right).

I hate all the pointless make no-sense scene. Its acceptable if you want to want to break the tension and edge for a moment with a small comedy part here and there, but in 13 ASSASSINS, all of that, is ruining the movie. They got it right with a very dark and serious tone at the first half. For example, at the beginning of the battle, all the assassins get up to the front line, trying to look cool in a mist, and 7 seconds after that, their leader say, get back to your post. What is up with the logic in that? I felt like I hit the pause button. What a shame

I really want to like 13 ASSASSINS, i tried to. But it failed. Its just becoming another generic samurai movie to me.

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