The Essential History of John McClane’s Life

According to the Historian, John McClane is born August 11, 1954. He’s an Irish American. After 30 Years of service as the protector of Innocent (NYPD, LAPD, or Homeland Security), he can be described as foul-mouthed, wisecracking  cop with an itchy trigger finger, as well as an Iconic and essential American hero, the toughest and luckiest sumbitch ever hit the face of the earth  and also always the wrong person at the wrong time, at the wrong place, at the wrong circumstances.

He’s a very proud and stubborn man. probably that’s why his marriage is falling, and even his own daughter didn’t want to use his last name, instead choosing Gennero, her mother’s last name.

In 1988, Christmas eve, after being seperated for the first time because of his wives moved to Los Angeles several months earlier to pursue a career and he cant let go the cases that he’s been dealing with in NYC, McClane decided to visited his family in LA. at that time, his wives already becaming a successful general affair manager in one of most profound company in the world, the NAKATOMI Corporation.  Unfortunately,  Hans Gruber, the incredibly tricky and suave thief, initiates his plan to steal $640 million in bearer bonds and takes the Nakatomi Company employees, including Holly, hostage, posing as terrorists to draw attention away from the theft almost simultaneously with McClane Arrival. After a long night battle, the nudity, drug use, continual profanity, and extreme violence all over the place, McClane is killing the terrorist one by one, and eventually throw Hans Gruber’s Ass from the 32th floor of Nakatomi Plaza.  After that, His marriage is back on track, and our hero is riding in a limo, kissing his wife passionately with a background of Nat King Cole’s let it snow let it snow let it snow.

2 Years later, another Christmas Eve, Another bunch of idiotic terrorist is ruining his life. Even though McClane already promoted to lieutenant, become a national hero, getting featured in the people magazine, it still doesnt make him a right to piss in other people’s home even when McClane discovers that mercenaries have seized control of Washington Dulles International Airport, and take control of the airport’s communications also threaten to cause plane crashes unless their demands are met. But the terrorist doesn’t realize that when you put John McClane’s wife in another danger, no matter what conspiracies that they made with the  active military unit, you’ll get an ass kicking, and a special 3 words cursing from McClane. Another failed attempt.

Like I said before, John McClane is invincible. Even a failed marriage, another step to becoming a full blown alcoholic, and getting suspended from the police corps, doesn’t getting in the way of McClane burns the hell out of Simon Gruber, Hans Gruber’s Brother in 1995.  But this time, McClane wasn’t alone. He’s being helped by Zeus Carver, a black racist guy who at the first time doesn’t want to get involved with the SIMON SAYS game, but decided to do it after being deceived by McClane. Their Interaction is gold.


12 years later, he’s already divorced with Holly. But McClane is in another wrong place, when he saves the life of nerd geeky hacker Matt Farrell. They soon discover that another group of superficial stupid terrorists are conducting a firesale and are systematically taking out the nation’s infrastructure. Check this out, he survives against group of mercenaries hunting him in a helicopter across the Washington DC’s street, a kungfu bitch, an exploding power plant, and off course the cool F-35B Lightning II one on one mortal kombat style battle. How god is this guy? But he’s getting older. He’s not the John McClane that I’ve want to become. He’s grow softer in this time. There’s not a single  fuck, shit, or any profanity can be caught at this time. he doesn’t even saying his catchphrase out loud. I’m disappointed.

Nobody can come close to the bad asses image that McClane Created. Not even Rambo, or the marvelous Chuck Norris himself(don’t Kill me Chuck). McClane is more than a stereotypical action hero. He’s vulnerable. He’s real. He’s Gritty. He’s the perfect mix of cocky arrogance and stone-cold heroism, and I really hope, that someday, he will get involved in another accident, even though he himself doesn’t really want it. But there’s no one else want to do it besides him. That’s why he’s always stay at the top of my favorite action hero of all time.

Yippie Ki Yay, Motherfucker!

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